Seriously. Enough Already. We get it.
Fans–young and old–of Stephenie Meyers’ Twilight vampire series mobbed the Hollywood & Highland shopping complex in Los Angeles this weekend.
Twilight came out on DVD this weekend, and in the hopes that no one would remember that the movie sucks, Summit Entertainment unleashed Twilight stars for surprise midnight “Whoopty Doo, this Crappy Ass Movie is Out on DVD” release parties in cities across the country.
MTV reportedly got wind that Ashley Greene, the actress who plays Alice Cullen, sister to the superhot Edward Cullen (played by Robert Pattinson), would be making a special appearance at Hot Topic at Hollywood & Highland. Yeah, I said Hot Topic.
When word got out, fans went fucking berserk, and started lining up to get a glimpse of the actress.
Now when I say fans, I don’t mean your run of the mill, OMG, LOL, TRL, MTV Bratz doll owning, Miley Cyrus listening, tweens. I’m talking Grown Ass Women Who Should Really Fucking Know Better.
According to MTV:
“We’re very hopeful. I have an intuition,” claimed Madison, 23, standing near the front of the long line with her friends and insisting that she shares a special power with Greene’s character, Alice Cullen. “I decided to come here tonight because I knew something would happen. I am confident!”
and
“We’re so excited. There have been people here since 2:30, and the more people that show up the more exciting it gets,” said Tammy, 32. “I might just have to crash in my car after it all. I’ve never been so excited. This is all a movement. … We’re having a party tomorrow and making ‘vampire kiss’ martinis!”
I hope there’s a healthy dose of arsenic in those martinis lady, because you need to be removed from the gene pool. By deadly force.
And because I’m a Grown Ass Woman Who Does Not Fucking Know Better, here are some more hot ass pictures of Robert IWantToDrinkYourBlood-inson:
You’re welcome.
You know, sometimes I feel bad about not having any reason to live. But if this were my reason to live, I think I would be more ashamed.
Sorry. His hair grosses me out. Maybe if he didn’t look so fricking stinky, I’d be hot for him.
I saw Twilight because I love vampire movies. I have never read the books, so I didn’t know what to expect. Usually vampire movies are awesome, but somehow the makers of Twilight the movie were able to make it the worst vampire movie on Earth. Halfway through it my friend asked if I had a magazine she could read. Yes, it was that slow and boring.
They’re filming the second movie up here in Vancouver and I drove past one of their film shoot locations or so I was told, luckily I didn’t see any mobs of the crazy ladies whose lives would end without Twilight and R.Patt.
You know, the other day I almost put up a facebook status that said “I don’t get all the Twilight nonsense.” But then I felt bad, because my 14 y.o. niece had this post about how geeked out she was for the DVD. So I abstained b/c I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.
However…if I am chilling at the bark park, and I see some 42 year old woman sporting a Twilight t-shirt, she should expect to get punched. Square. In. The. Face.
lmao…shu_shu could you please take video when this punching in the face happens? Please and thank you.
Oh man, Twilight is bar none the worst movie I have ever seen. And I’ve seen ‘Dude, where’s my car?’ (sober), ‘Butterfly Effect” and ‘What about Bob?’ It was just TURRIBLE. And Kristin Stewart (is that the lead actress broad) her “woe is me” attitude, was super highly ridiculously annoying. Plus, mouth breather? Shut it!!!!!!!!! You have a nose for a reason. And seriously, I attended several schools during my life times, that is not how it is for new girls. The screenplay was so horribly written. Annnnnnnnnd they’re vampires, but can go out in daylight and have no fangs? Fuck me six ways to Sunday, that’s not a vampire movie, it’s a really bad teen angst drama.
I’m fairly certain Stephenie Meyers is really a 14 year old girl. Steve King was right.
F.Y.I.
Yes, I have in fact, had more than one life time.
Stephenie Meyers set back cinematography many years, to go along with the several years that ass hat Diablo Cody set it back.
Of course Mae has had more than one lifetime. Death is too afraid to come for her. Death knows Mae will brick him in the face, steal his wallet and go to the bar and run up a huge tab on his credit card. That’s how Mae rolls.
lmao…yeah, I heard death offered mae a cupcake once and she cut him.
She cut Death. With his own scythe. That’s how hardcore mae is.
Ah, I have been enlightened.
I was looking at a “friend’s” pics of her roadtrip on facebook. It was her Twilight tour. Every picture had a reference to something from the movie, etc. She is forty. I was aware people love the books. I have been hiding under my rock and missed the fuss about the movie.
Mae is hardcore for sure.
i have tried and failed multiple times to get through this movie. i’ve been watching it for two weeks in twenty minute bursts.
it’s really THAT. BAD.
and i’ll watch almost anything.
but i have to say, i’ve enjoyed the books so far. i’m half way through the third one. they’re crappy books. but enjoyable crappy books.
also payter, there is something wrong with your 40 year old “friend.” because that is seriously embarrassing.
Yes, payter. Your friend may be a lovely person, but unless she had a 14-year old along with her, I’d be worried about her mental health.
Yep. Another one for the list of “movies I intend to go to the grave without having seen”.
mae is so hardcore, when she wants an egg she cracks open a chicken.
Her loveliness is questionable SeaKat, but she did have a young(er) girl with her. I just didn’t get it, cause she looked a heck of a lot more excited than the younger girl. Like “Look at this brick that has – Our Twilight Trip 2009 – stamped on it” -big cheesy grin and all. While I was looking at it, I just didn’t get it. Now it is all a bit more creepy.
I know I would love the books. I think that is different DonnaM.
“mae is so hardcore, when she wants an egg she cracks open a chicken.”
that is brilliant. and for the record i don’t doubt it’s true.
i wonder if mae is the new chuck norris.
She had a BRICK made???? That says “Our Twilight Trip”???
That, my friend, is called an engraved invitation to brick her in the face. Hell, that’s not an invite. That’s a royal summons for face-bricking.
BOF – That ” crack open a chicken” quote is hilarious. I’m stealing it. Don’t sic Mae on me, ok? I bruise easily.
I can’t stop laughing at the thought of someone getting an “Our Twilight Trip” made and then having said brick deposited on her face!
I seriously have the giggles!
i just saw lainey gossip calling them TWIHARDS.
very nice.
http://www.laineygossip.com/A-Knight-created-a-Wizard-books-reviews.aspx
mae is a cupcake eater!
cupcake eater!
cupcake eater!
tra la la la la la la la la!
Ooh, you’re cruising for a Ray Pruitt-style beatdown, administered by Mae, Donna.
::ducks awaiting hardest bitchslap in bitchslap history::
::bitchslaps spellcheck for not knowing about a bitchslap::
::ducks again::
::remembers the cute ducks video and squat-walks over to it::
::bitchslaps spellcheck for actually thinking squat-walks is a word::
hahhaha, bfm.
Squat-walks. Squat-walks.
Sounds like Sasquatch if you say it fast enough.
Everybody! To the Applebee’s parking lot! RIGHT NOW!!!!!
hold on! til the feeling is gone!