Monthly Archives: May 2009

Ca-yoot!

Posted on May 31, 2009 by | 9 Comments

Barack and Michelle Obama

ts-obamas

Well looky here.  Little Michelle Robinson and Little Barry Obama.  Aren’t they cute?  Bet they didn’t think that they’d grow up to be President and First Lady of the United States.  Bet they were just thinking about why they didn’t get a normal size Christmas tree that year.

And just last night, Barack took Michelle on a proper date.  They dined at Blue Hill,  and then it was off to see a Broadway play–Joe Turner’s Come and Gone. Why the festivities, you ask?  Well, because during the campaign, Barack promised Michelle that when he won, he would take her on a date to New York City to see a Broadway show, and he’s a man of his word.

That’s cute, yeaux.

Source.

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Posted in Cute Shenanigans, Political Shenanigans

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Angry Black Lady Chronicles: My Head Just Exploded

Posted on May 29, 2009 by | 17 Comments

They Really Can’t Sink Any Further…

ts-ggordonliddyAnd I thought they’d already sunk as low as they could.  What do you get when you cross blatant racism with offensive sexism?

Answer: Conservative radio talk show host and former Nixon Administration troglodyte, G. Gordon Liddy:

“I understand that they found out today that Miss Sotomayor is a member of La Raza, which means in illegal alien, ‘the race.’ And that should not surprise anyone because she’s already on record with a number of racist comments.”

and

“Let’s hope that the key conferences aren’t when she’s menstruating or something, or just before she’s going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then.”

Classic.  And this from the assclown who masterminded Watergate.  Unrepentant douchebaggery.

(H/T Lisa(#1)!)

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Posted in Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Culture Critic, Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans

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Rush, Do STFU

Posted on May 29, 2009 by | 6 Comments

Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh to Keep from Crying

ts-daisy

Because daisies are pretty and I'm sick of looking at Sweaty Man.

Rush Limbaugh.  Sigh.  ::shakes head:: Crazy Man No. 1 is now comparing Sonia Sotomayor to David Duke.  Yes.  White Supremacist David Duke.  Former Grand Wizard of the KKK David Duke.  Anti-semitic David Duke.

Not only does she lack the often discussed appropriate judicial temperament, it’s worse than that. She brings a form of bigotry and racism to the court. I don’t care, we’re not supposed to say it, we’re supposed to pretend it didn’t happen, we’re supposed to look at other things but it’s the elephant in the room. The real question here that needs to be asked and nobody on our side from a columnist to a TV commentator to anybody in our party has the guts to ask, how can a president nominate such a candidate? And how can a party get behind such a candidate? That’s what would be asked if somebody were foolish enough to nominate David Duke or pick somebody even less offensive. It is asked.

Is this for real?  I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

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Posted in Culture Critic, Please Die in a Fire, Political Shenanigans

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Angry Black Lady Chronicles: Sonia Sotomayor

Posted on May 29, 2009 by | 45 Comments

Just Too Damn Puerto Rican to be a Good Judgets-sotomayor

This shit is ridiculous, y’all.  In the same 2001 speech in Berkeley during which Sotomayor made the controversial statement:

“I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.”

she also said the following:

“For me, a very special part of my being Latina is the mucho platos de arroz, gandoles y pernir – rice, beans and pork – that I have eaten at countless family holidays and special events.  My Latina identity also includes, because of my particularly adventurous taste buds, morcilla, — pig intestines, patitas de cerdo con garbanzo — pigs’ feet with beans, and la lengua y orejas de cuchifrito, pigs’ tongue and ears.

Pretty benign, yes?

Er… no.

Continue reading →

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Posted in Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Culture Critic, Legal Shenanigans, Political Shenanigans

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Prickles and Goo: Alan Watts

Posted on May 27, 2009 by | 3 Comments

This animated film was produced by Matt Stone and Trey Park, the creators of South Park.  It is set to the audio recordings of philosopher Alan Watts.  Enjoy:


[via the universe as]

(Thanks to WhoMee for the tip!)

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Posted in Kick Ass

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Angry Black Lady Chronicles: First Latina on the Court?

Posted on May 27, 2009 by | 28 Comments

Obama Nominates Hon. Sonia Sotomayor to United States Supreme Court

ts-sotomayor

"I firmly believe in the rule of law as the foundation for all of our basic rightsObama Nominates Hon. Sonia Sotomayor to United States Supreme Court

Yesterday, Obama nominated Sonia Sotomayor to the United States Supreme Court. If confirmed, she will be the first Hispanic and the third woman to serve on the Supreme Court.

The right-wing whackjobs, as expected, are losing their shit.  They’re pulling out all the stops.  “She’s a radical.”  “She’s a liberal activist judge.” “She’s all Mexican or something.” “She’s a dame.”  “She has feelings.”  “She puts her pants suits on one leg at a time.”

Sean Hannity even said that she’s the most radical and divisive nominee ever in the history of the world, and that Obama has turned his back on white mainstream America.

WHAT THE FUCK EVER.  So you’re saying that now, Sotomayor is the most radical leftist nominee ever?  But was she the most radical leftist nominee ever when George H.W. Bush appointed her to the bench in 1991?  I mean, seriously?  Hypocrites, party of Republicans!

Continue reading →

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Posted in Angry Black Lady Chronicles, Culture Critic, Legal Shenanigans, Political Shenanigans

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Beatbox Battle Competition

Posted on May 25, 2009 by | 3 Comments

Canada, Represent!

Canadian 17-year-old, Julia Dales, won the Beatbox Battle Wild Card Competition.

Here she is, and she’s pretty damn amazing:

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Posted in Kick Ass

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Attention Menfolk!

Posted on May 25, 2009 by | 5 Comments

Your Penises Are NOT Playthingsts-penis-puppet

OK, sometimes they are, but for the love of Cruise, don’t use your penis as a puppet.  If you do, you could end up in jail where it won’t be only YOU using your penis as a plaything, ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo.

A 44-year-old man in Washington came up with some cockeyed scheme to have his johnson star in a puppet troupe. (Members only!)  Acccording to Seattlepi.com:

The police report of the incident said Timothy Wayne Martin, 44, of Auburn, Wash., was arrested after residents of the Arcadia Apartment Complex in Federal Way called police at about 10:30 a.m. May 13 and reported a man standing over an air conditioner intake wearing only an unbuttoned flannel shirt and “was apparently manipulating” his penis with a string “like a puppet.”

When he was arrested, Martin still had the string attached to his schlong.  Despite presumable attempts to provide some cockamamie reason for his antics, Martin was arrested and charged under the state’s felony indecent exposure statute.  Apparently, this wasn’t Martin’s first pervy penile puppet performance.

What a tool.

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Posted in Criminally Stupid, Weird Ass Shenanigans

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GOOPing

Posted on May 25, 2009 by | Leave a comment

Cooking with Bullshit Edition

In this week’s GOOP, Gwyneth Paltrow decides to share some recipes with us. These recipes aren’t just any recipes, though. They belong to Pablo, the chef of her friend Giancarlo Giametti, or “GG” as he’s affectionately known. GG is described as an “Italian gentleman… longtime friend and partner of fashion legend Valentino Garavani.” Apparently having a chef isn’t GG’s only extravagance. Gwyneth claims that he lives in exceptional style, the likes of which she has never seen. I’m picturing butlers, Rolls Royces, gold toilets and expensive lavender moisturizers.

These recipes had better be good.

gwynetheating-1

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Posted in Guest Contributors

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