‘Bout time!
You mess with the bull, you get the horns, you know what I'm sayin'?
Catalonia became the first region in Spain to ban bullfighting. I must admit, when I first read the story, I kept thinking, “Why are we excited about a ban on the running of the bulls? If crazy people want to be chased be a thundering herd of bulls, risking life, limb, and a bull horn through the back, who are we to stop them?” Then I was like, ohhhh! Bull fighting? Bull fighting sucks!
Its orange sands have witnessed delight and death. Generations of matadors strutted their way across Barcelona’s Monumental bullring, drawing roars of approval from the crowds as they tormented the hulking bulls with their scarlet capes before killing them with a sword-thrust between the shoulder blades.
Deputies voted by 68 to 55 in favour of a people’s petition calling on the bullfight to be banished from a region that once played host to some of the world’s greatest fights. The last matador in Catalan history will sink his sword into the last half-tonne fighting bull at the end of next year, with the ban starting in 2012.
“It is the worst attack on culture since our transition to democracy,” said the Catalan poet Pere Gimferrer.
While some mourned the loss of a cultural jewel, the vote was hailed by animal rights campaigners worldwide. Ricky Gervais and Pamela Anderson were among the 140,000 who signed an international petition to the Catalan parliament.
“It sickens me to know that people are still paying money to see an animal suffering in such a horrific way,” Gervais said before the vote.
Bullfighting seems like some craziness that a bunch of drunk guys came up with, and for some reason people were all, “Yeah! That really is a good idea! Let’s piss a bull off, wave a red flag in its face, let it charge around and attempt to stomp on the face of some asshat in a gold jacket. If the asshat wins, he’ll stabs the bull in the back, and the crowd will go wild! If the asshat loses, well, people love watching a fool in a sequined jacket get gored to death. The crowd will be horrified, yet oddly titillated. Oh, and of course we’ll have to put the bull down because, damn, bull, you can’t just go around goring motherfuckers who wave red flags in your face! This aggression will not stand, bull!”
The bull is in a lose lose situation. In a fair fight, if the bull gores the matador, he would get to sip champagne and maybe get a lap dance from a cow with bedazzled spots. But no. Bullfighting is a bull death sentence. These bulls have been getting a raw deal for a long time, man! It’s about time they stopped this bullshit.
[video of Ricky Gervais being all serious and talking about bullfighting and how it sucks, after the jump]
Good on ya, Spain. Now do something about that baby jumping nonsense, will ya?
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Yeah, I remember the day I realized the word “matador” does not, in fact, translate to “romantic figure who does this antiquated but honorable combat with a bull,” but actually and literally just means “killer” in Spanish. It also explained a lot about the old El Matador movie I watched in college, which was about a hitman. Not calling him a romantic figure at all, just a killer. So much more sense that way.
hopefully the rest of spain will follow suit before the next century.
i’m ecstatic about the catelonia ban (i’ve been writing letters/yapping about it for a long time). but since the decision was based on the fact that bullfighting involves an indefensible act of extreme cruelty, it’s pretty stupid that the band doesn’t go into effect until 2012.
Hemingway is not going to be pleased about this. The whole last third of The Sun Also Rises uses this as an extended metaphor for the protagonist’s emasculation.
“Its orange sands have witnessed delight and death.”
ugh. somebody definitely was trying to channel hemingway, but channeled the bulwer-lytton fiction contest instead.
” In a fair fight, if the bull gores the matador, he would get to sip champagne and maybe get a lap dance from a cow with bedazzled spots.”
When I read this, I instantly got a picture of this in my mind. Made me laugh out loud sitting in my office. My co-workers probably think I have lost it.
Thanks! I was having a really bad day and you made me laugh — yet again.
I’m always here for laugh OL shenanigans!
This is a good thing and I love the photo.
And your article made me think about Portuguese bullfighting because it’s different as they ride these fancy horses and don’t kill the bull in the ring, but they still use the bandarilhas (small javelins) in the back of the bull and hence still cruel.
Anyways, my point is after I read your article I found this website (http://www.lisbon-guide.info/about-portugal/bullfighting) and it mentioned MINOTAURS!!!! I think you have your Minotaur solution.
Minotaurs are a threat to global security.
i don’t think they should ban it, or any sporting contests between idiots and dangerous angry animals. it should simply be reformed. one bull, one naked matador and a fifteen foot fence around the ring. that’s a bullfight i’d watch.