Baby Got Book! 
I’d like to tell you about my new favorite website. It’s called christwire.org. And it is JEANIUS. You know satire is some good ass satire when a bunch of smarty pantses (myself included) are scratching their head going, “Huh? Is this shit for real?”
The first article I read, The Fag Hag: How A Girl’s Misguided Friendship Choices Can Lead to A Lifetime of Loneliness had me a little jimmy crack cornfused for a minute.
Then I poked around the website and came across Baby Got Book:
When God created mankind, he made us all of different flavors and tastes.
He first created Adam and made him white. Just like God, he made Adam organized and with an ear to appreciate great music. This is why until this day, in white homes they are very organized, with everyone getting up on time for school to work, while Mom and Dad listen to some Michael W. Smith or maybe even some Mozart or Kenny G.
God made the Asians industrious and meticulous, hence their perfection in the fine arts such as piano and excellent track record in mathematics. Their attention to detail is immense and when raised in a proper nation such as America, this attention is coupled with excellent morality, making them dynamic.
God created the Mexicans. He made them fond of relaxation and enjoying life. Sadly, when they get in too big of a community of peers, this just builds up and snowballs, so nothing ever gets done. But still, they like to relax but sadly, want everyone to help them do work and will resort to any ends to get things they want, which makes them dangerous. So from them, they are very fruitful and multiply, but just won’t work and instead, spend all day making babies, having drugs, sneaking where they don’t belong and more siestas.
Now the blacks. What a great people. God made their body’s amazingly strong and fast, and they tend to be the greatest entertainers. They are hard-workers, many of their ancestors volunteered to come over to help build America. They helped make America a great nation, and now that their hard-work is done, have become the people of entertainment. They entertain us in sports. They entertain us in music and dance. And they entertain us with their comedies.
The sad thing is, however, is that Satan really wants his hand on these people. He wants Afro-Americans to harken back to their dark days of witch doctors and false gods, instead of our true God. He wants them to be lazy and get welfare checks, instead of working hard in industrious tasks, that their bodies are really good at, just like their ancestors. The blacks all still have it in them to work hard, but it’s the distractions Satan has created to do their community harm that keeps holding them back.
Drugs. Gang violence. Baggy clothes. Prostitution. Bad foood choices (too much salt and sweets). Loud, obnoxious church services that focuses too much on flamboyant shows and big hair than worship. Dangerous music.
I think of all these things, dangerous music is the worst for them. The reason why is it can sneak into thei rhomes and exploit the black’s natural ability to sing and dance, never forgetting a step or rhythm. These means music can easily indoctrinate and influence the mind of a black child.
For this reason, I appreciate songs that minister to these black kids in a way they will enjoy. Here is an excellent new song called “Baby Got Book”. I am told there is a new black rapper named Sir-Mixes-a-Lot, where he takes his name from mixing up all sorts of bad drugs.
He made a song called “Baby Got Back” and it is all about a man sticking his satan-scepter into a woman’s devil-hole, and being excited with sin because of the shape of her oversized rump-roast. This song was trying to convince black young boys to go around and do these things to women and you can see the problem already, and the song is catchy with beats.
So a new rapper, a Christian one, has turned the tables! He has made a song that uses the same catchy beat, and instead of “Baby got Back”, it is “Baby Got Book”. The woman in the video’s book is, the Bible. Glory be.
Let us gather the entire family and watch this cultural praise video:
Hilarity. All over the place.
I love the attention to detail. “Oh my goodness, Becky, look at her Bible.” Thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vain, bitches!
Bookmark this site, people. It’s comedy gold.
(H/T Natasha!)
It’s pretty amusing to read through the comments and figure out which commenters recognize the satire and which take it seriously.