Don’t you just love gay men?
I know I do. I mean they are just people after all. I generally hate people, though. I sometimes jokingly say that gay men are sort of like black women. There’s a lot of overlap there. Just think about it. Maybe that’s why I feel safer around them. I don’t know what it is, but if I were traveling alone in some strange city, and I wanted to go out but didn’t know anyone in town, I would go to a gay bar. Take LA, for example. If you dropped me off in Los Angeles (and for some reason I didn’t remember I already lived here–like if I got into a horrible “you don’t remember you live here” accident and I woke up all confused and shit), and I didn’t know where I was I would go to West Hollywood.
For starters, chances are someone there would recognize me and help me put the pieces of my Life Puzzle back together. At the gay bars I frequent in West Hollywood, you’re going to see a lot of guys who really shouldn’t be waxing their eyebrows that much; some dude dancing on a table in his underwear; a bunch of hot straight bartenders shaking their shit for gay tips; and you’re going to get a lot of compliments and fashion tips, but what you’re not going to get is a lot of drunk asshats trying to play grab ass with you as you walk across the room.
I walk through a grinding dance club in West Hollywood, and the men make a path for me–as my friend Robert once told me, “girl, you parted the crowd like a knife through hot butter“–they don’t start trying to hump me to death like a pack of wild nutless dogs. I walk through a grinding dance club in Hollywood, and I’ve got one hand protecting my front, and one hand protecting my back, each hand clenched over a razor blade; I can see a wayward grope coming from a mile away and I will cut you after I give you the stank eye.
But I digress.
Not everyone loves them some gays. The Pope, for example–he’s got no love for the gays. He was talking shit about gay marriage in Spain after Spain just legalized gay marriage. (Dick move, dude.) So the gays had themselves a little “queerkissflashmob” to tell the Pope to kindly stick it where the papal sun don’t shine: Continue reading

Yesterday marked the end of the annual